


I Love You & It Really Hurts

by haiq_trash_queen



Category: haikyuu
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Compilcated, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drinking to Cope, Fluff, Happy Ending? Yes, M/M, Multi, Slight Manga Spoilers, They are drunk, exlover implied, ranting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22654558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haiq_trash_queen/pseuds/haiq_trash_queen
Summary: Atsumu Miya is hurting, the type that makes your stomach turn and twist into knots. He should be happy, after all his team just one another game. But he can’t concentrate.Not when Hinata talks about Kageyama that way....So a night out with the guys turns into a mess real quick and he isn’t talking about the alcohol.(Slight Manga Spoliers!!)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 134





	I Love You & It Really Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Slight Spoilers for the manga! Just a little though!
> 
> Thanks for the read,kudos and comments they mean a lot<3 
> 
> I really like this ship too oops. 
> 
> Follow my IG: @haiq_trash_queen  
> Quotev (for X readers): @haiq_trash_queen.

“He’s so gah! When he used to play in high school he was always so bossy but look at him now!” Hinata’s voice rang through the walls of the shared dorms.

Atsumu hummed, and Bokuto nodded, “I know right!”  
  
”He’s changed so much! He even smiled now” Hinata muttered after seeing Kageyama in the TV. 

Atsumu gripped tightened on the control as he walked away. Bokuto and Hinata looking confused as they continued to see the other players interviews. 

* * *

“Your moping ” Sakusa said, his voice monotone. 

Assume groaned as he shook his head, glaring at Sakusa, “Yeah I _know”_

Sakusa sighed as he shook his head, he placed a hand on Atsumu’s shoulder, “Get it together, we’re going to play tomorrow.”

Atsumu nodded, “I know, I will be.”

But he was trying harder than hell to ignore the stinging sensation in his chest, or the burning in his eyes. He sighed as he let out his emotions in loud gasp hitting the concrete porch. 

* * *

“We won _!”_ Hinata jumped up and hugged Atsumu. Atsumu laughed and hugged back _, relishing in the moment._

Until Hinata unlatched himself from him and went to hug Bokuto. Sakusa patted Atsumu on the back, “Good Job.”

”Thanks”

”Hey, Hey! Atsumu we’re celebrating with drinks tonight!” Bokuto hollered from the back and his voice was loud enough that it echoed through. 

Atsumu gave a thumbs up. 

* * *

The bar wasn’t overtly crowded or loud. They entered wearing normal clothes. An they sat down in one of those small tables as they ordered there drinks.

”Hey Hinata so we’re playing against Kageyama team next!”

Hinata’s eyes widened as he nodded eyes widened, “Yeah I know I’m gonna kick Baka-yama’s butt!”

Bokuto laughed and Sakusa nodded, “You’ll have a chance to soon.”  
  
Hinata took a swing of his drink and nodded as a small blush of slightly intoxication hit him, “I know. I went to Brazil to get good enough to be in the court!”

”So you did it for him?” Atsumu seethed. The drinks must have gotten to him after a while, only slightly though. Because there was no drunk ness behind that tone, those words.

Hinata looked at Atsumu questioningly, ”I went to go get better! I worked as a pizza boy and-“

”But you went with the intention of playing against Kageyama? So what happens when on of you win? Is it really Rivalry? You played in the same team, you guys were friends, so is that forefront a excuse-“

”Stop Atsumu.” Sakusa interrupted. 

He had stopped talking and saw Hinata. A gaze of confusion and hurt etched on his features. Atsumu felt his heart clutch.

”I don’t know what your implying by that. An frankly its none of your _business.”_

_Ouch._

Bokuto noticed the tension, “Hey Hey! Drinks are running low aren’t they!”

He motioned for more drinks and Hinata sighed, “I’m not in the mood sorry I’m turning in early.”

An he walked out, Atsumu groaned and Sakusa looked at him side eyes, “Congratulations.”

”Shut it.” Atsumu said as he grabbed another drink. 

And another, and another. 

He lost count after number nine. It felt better, the burning sensation in his chest, his eyes was replaced with alcohol. He no longer felt heavy but no matter how much he drunk he could still _feel_ and _see those brown eyes hurt._

* * *

“Okay man, that’s enough. Go back home. Me and Bokuto will play up.” Sakusa said.

Atsumu nodded groggily as his stepped moved from side to side. He entered the shared dorms the players had and he groaned as he tried to take off his shoes. An once he did he b-lined to the couch.

An once he did, he saw the picture they had framed of the team. Hinata’s wide eyes happy and content.

The feelings bubbled off, and suddenly alcohol had no effects on him. His eyes became tears and he _lost it._

Tears fell over tears, he hiccuped and his voice broke. Sadness clawing at his throat and his mind never shutting up. His insecurities finally rising up and for once the voice was louder than anything. He didn’t even try to fight it off this time.

He unwinded and his tears marked his clothes and overwhelmed his face. _He was drowning in them._

”What’s wrong?” A distant voice asked him but Atsumu couldn’t decipher who it was, his tears and pants to loud.

”I fucked up. Hinata fucken hates me” he choked up again.

”Why?” The voice asked.

Atsumu gripped his head, his gaze still down, “Because I was wing nosey. But I had to! The way he _talks about Kageyama...I can’t ever be him...he won’t love me like he loves him.”_

”I messed up and now he hates me _. I’m not him,_ the _way_ he _makes_ Hinata _smile. Why_ can’t I do that _? I love him so much, but he doesn’t **see** me. _I’m a background character to him. In the great story of Kageyama and Hinata, _I’m nothing_. An that _kills me!”_

The tears came faster now, harder, _“_ I just _want_ to be with him. I _want_ to make him smile and hold his hands. I want to fight with him and make up. I want to kiss him softly and then make him say my name. I want to show him off, I want to _give him everything and get nothing. I just want him, any form and any way._ I know I’m selfish, I already set to him but....”

 _”_ It _...It hurts so goddamn much! I love him so much that it hurts!_ My heart beats too fast when he smiles! It hurts so much, and I love him so much. I just....”

He wiped his eyes but it was futile because he still couldn’t see, the voice was still silent so he continued on, _“ **I just want him to love me too.”**_

His eyes were clouded and then clear. As the voice stroked his hair, “I think he does too.”  
  
An then everything was clear, and the voice took shape. Orange hair and those familiar brown eyes. Atsumu sniffled as he looked at him eyes wide.

”Hina...Hinata?”

Hinata gave him a small smile, as little tears fell from his face. 

“Yeah?”

Atsumu lost it as he grabbed the short male into a embrace, “I’m sorry.”

Hinata nodded as the sniffling Atsumu hugged him, he hugged back and muttering sweet nothing into his ear.

_”It’s okay, I promise, I love you too. Please don’t hurt anymore.”_


End file.
